twelvemonths knell: Values the Shape {Supernatural Parenting}

There are a lot of different directions people take in parenting. A parent will ultimately direct the life of their child according to what they value most.

Every home has a different set of value systems that determine all the decisions made inside of the home-? what kind of food is consumed, how much and what type of entertainment is enjoyed, the amount of time spent investing in educational experiences, and so on and so forth.

Why is this important to understand?

Because every time you read an article about parenting or get advice from a friend you are allowing someone else to give you their values. That might be a good thing?if they have good values. But it might be a bad thing, too.

Values are typically shaped by experiences, information, and peer pressure.

If you grew up with parents who struggled to have enough money to pay the bills then you might adopt a value of striving to be financially comfortable inside of your family. Or maybe you felt insecure about being accepted with your peers when you were young and have developed a value of giving your child everything they need to fit in so that they don?t have to face the same hurts that you dealt with.?Your experiences in life will try to shape what you value.

We are living in the information age. Everywhere you turn, someone has a new statistic or study about something. And all of that information can easily shape your values. Maybe you watched a documentary on education or eating natural foods and the information you received begins to shape your family. That might not be a bad thing, but it all depends upon the reliability of the information. Family values are consistently shaped based in response to information.

Probably the largest influence in the development of values is actually peer pressure, though. Family values aren?t something that only Christian families have. Every family has values. And those values are mostly shaped from parenting magazines, popular books, tv shows?pretty much anyone or anything with a voice inside of our culture. But there is a difference between good values and God values.?

For the Christian parent, our goal is to raise children who love Jesus and embrace Him as the Lord and Savior of their life.

But many Christian parents with that goal have adopted values that are moving them away from that end instead of towards it. Unknowingly, they have allowed experiences, information and peer pressure to shape their values more than God has been allowed to.

Photo Credit- TQ3081 (Creative Commons)

Imagine that your child?s heart is like wet cement and the values of your home are the framework that her heart is being poured into. Just like a frame holds moldable cement into place until it has hardened, the values inside of your parenting are shaping her young little heart. Someday, when the frame is removed and your child sets out on her own to make decisions for herself, your values will have shaped who she is and how she interacts with the world around her.

Direct your children onto the right path,
and when they are older, they will not leave it. Proverbs 22:6 (NLT)

The value something has in your life is obvious over time. It isn?t enough to say that you value something; you have to legitimately value it for it to have shaping power in your children.

Your child is born with a natural desire to please you. She is looking for affirmation for her parents that she is doing good. And your nonverbal communications as well as your words tell her if what she is doing is valuable to you.

My 6 year old son consistently walks into the kitchen and announces that he is going to go read his Bible. He can barely read, so he isn?t getting a whole lot out of this yet. But he watches dad and mom. David sees us studying our Bible, he hears us talking about what we are applying to our lives, and he knows that we are passionate about teaching the truths of the Bible. Because he picks up that the Bible is a big value inside of our home, his moldable heart adopts it as his value too.

What values are framing the heart of your child? Take an honest look at your home and ask yourself what your children are picking up as valuable to you.

And then compare those values to what God values and see if you and God are on the same page. Remember, God is looking for a Divine partnership between you and Him inside of your parenting. But the Bible makes it clear, you can only partner with God if you are in agreement with Him. If the values of your home aren?t the same as the values that God has then you are robbing yourself of the supernatural aspect that your parenting has when you partner with Him.

Can two people walk together
without agreeing on the direction?? Amos 3:3 (NLT)

Values of the Kingdom of God-

1.??? The Word of God

How can a young person stay pure?
By obeying your word.
I have tried hard to find you?
don?t let me wander from your commands.
I have hidden your word in my heart,
that I might not sin against you.?Psalm 119:9-11 (NLT)

The Bible is the foundation upon which a Christ like home is built. It settles disagreements, it determines our conduct, and it guides our decisions. Valuing the Word of God is more than just having a Bible around or even reading it together as a family. Have you given it the place of governing your home? Are your children well aware of its importance at the center of your family life?

2.??? The Presence of God

Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Do not banish me from your presence,
and don?t take your Holy Spirit?from me.? Psalm 51:10-11 (NLT)

The purpose behind reading the Word and cultivating an atmosphere of worship inside of your home is so that your family would know God and His Presence would dwell among you. Is there sensitivity inside of your home about things that offend the Holy Spirit? Are you vigilant about guarding the atmosphere in your home from bitterness, fighting, vulgar language and conversation or have you grown comfortable with an environment that doesn?t look much different than someone who doesn?t have a relationship with Christ?

?3.??? The House of God

I was glad when they said to me,
?Let us go to the house of the LORD.? Psalm 122:1 (NLT)

God doesn?t intend for us to live out our relationship with Him alone. One of the number one factors that will determine a consistent vibrant pursuit of God in the life of your family is whether or not you have surrounded yourself with other believers who encourage and support you. You need accountability from sisters and brothers in Christ, you and your kids need Christian friends, your family needs to be challenged to keep growing in God. Do you kids understand how valuable the House and Family of God is for your family?

As you determine the values for your home, I encourage you to write them down and review them often. Each of our hearts is prone to wander from God being the first love of our lives and families. Like a car with an alignment issue, we need to continually course correct so that our family life is shaping the hearts of our kids into God?s image and not a replication of the culture around us.

If you are just now joining us for this series on Supernatural Parenting, you can find the first lesson here and catch up to where we are at.

Thank you for helping spread the word about this series and for your many emails and comments. I pray that you are feeling more equipped to parent and to share the truths of the Bible that pertain to parenting with others as this series progresses.